“Real” writers don’t do it on their own

How do you feel about asking for help? Is it easy for you or are you like me? You kinda hate admitting that you can’t do it on your own.

If you’re interested in book coaching, but you have a hang-up about asking for help, you’re torn. I get it. I’ve been there.

Let’s be honest—it’s probably because I’m an only child. Too independent and stubborn for my own good.

It’s kept me from asking for the help that I not only needed but that I genuinely wanted. All because of a silly fear.

I’d heard about book coaching more than two years ago, and I thought, That’s a great concept! Writing is hard—why wouldn’t you want to have an ally in the struggle?

I even thought that it could be really helpful for me. I thrive when I have the accountability of external deadlines. I love to bounce ideas off other people. And I need a little bit of reassurance that I’m doing things right when I’m in unfamiliar territory.

Plus, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a publish-worthy novel.

So why didn’t I go out and hire a book coach right then and there?

This little voice in my head said, “Real writers can do it on their own. If you were a real writer, you wouldn’t need anyone’s help.”

I’m guessing that thought got in my head because as readers we see product, not process. We see the final book with ONE name on the cover. And even if we read the acknowledgments section, where the author gushes about the people who helped them along the way, we still see writing a book as a solitary exercise.

The myth leads us to believe a genius writer commits their brilliant thoughts to the page, polishes it up, and the next week it’s on the shelf. And if you can’t do that, you’re just not cut out for the task of novel-writing.

Of course, when I write it out, it sounds ridiculous. I can see that it’s implausible. Even if it’s true for one or two writers, it’s not for the vast majority. And I’ve learned enough about the publishing industry at this point that I know every book on the shelf goes through several rounds of editing, with several different people weighing in.

But still, the fear persists—if I was actually a good writer, if I was meant to produce anything worth reading, if I was meant to claim the title of “published author,” I could do it on my own. There’s a piece of my ego that says talented writers don’t need help. Real writers are just naturally good.

Then I had a lightbulb moment thanks to the popular Netflix series The Queen’s Gambit.

I think the analogy works better for me than the running one because Beth Harmon is engaged in a cerebral pursuit—playing chess—for which she is naturally gifted. The show emphasizes that she has an above-average aptitude for math and she’s an intuitive player.

But, as David Majiester points out in his article, “How to Write Like Beth Harmon Plays Chess,” she still puts in a lot of study and practice time. She doesn’t just roll out of bed and beat all of the best players in the world; she works at it.

And more importantly, even though Beth demonstrates that she is one of the best chess players of her time, she still gets coaching. In fact, she works with multiple opponents who help her sharpen her skills and give her added confidence to take on the Grandmasters.

It struck me that even the best can use help, or an outside perspective, or even just a little cheerleading. And getting coaching doesn’t mean that you’re not smart or talented or capable. On the contrary, it means that you’re smart enough to get the resources you need or create a situation to optimize your chance of success.

There is no shame in getting help.

You don’t have to write alone.

I won’t be tackling my next novel by myself!

If you’re feeling ready to level up your writing, let’s talk!