Cultivate a growth mindset to overcome perfectionism in your writing

Not perfect enough to be a perfectionist

I didn’t know if I could identify as a perfectionist because the truth (that I’d rather keep hidden from everyone else) was that I was far from perfect. I wasn’t neat or organized, I didn’t always look put together, and I did not have everything under control. 

But I wanted to do things perfectly. I wanted to look perfect and act perfect. Most importantly, I wanted to write perfectly and I didn’t want to fail. 

And despite the fact that everyone says that isn’t possible, a little piece of me still wanted it, still believed maybe I could achieve it. 

So am I a perfectionist? I recently realized that the answer is yes, and it’s keeping me from writing the novel I’ve always dreamed of writing. 

Does that sound like you, too? 

What is perfectionism 

The term “perfectionism” gets thrown around a lot. For that reason, many of us may have the misperception that people with a perfectionist mindset are striving for excellence for its own sake. And we may believe that perfectionists actually do things pretty close to perfect. They’re meticulous, motivated, and naturally talented. 

This is far from the truth about perfectionism. 

In fact, it’s a defense mechanism that we employ when we’re afraid of not being perfect. Brene Brown explains: 

“There’s a significant difference between perfectionism and healthy striving or striving for excellence. Perfectionism is the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”

But the irony is that we can’t do all things perfectly all the time. In fact, we probably can’t do most things perfectly ever. So perfectionism, rather than making us really excellent at the work we care about, keeps us stuck. 

It keeps us from even starting any projects because we don’t know if we can do them perfectly. It keeps us working in a place of fear and insecurity when we do manage to try to do the work. And it keeps us from ever fully committing to a pursuit out of the fear that if we do give it our all, and we don’t succeed, it’s proof that we’re incapable and unworthy. 

How perfectionism affects writing

I think perfectionism can be particularly common among writers because our craft feels so personal, and it’s so easy to believe that everyone else knows what they’re doing. There’s a myth that truly talented writers just sit down and the story pours out of them. In reality, writing a novel is hard for everyone—especially on the first try. Why? Because a novel is not like any other piece of writing we’ve done before. 

The writing skills that you’ve cultivated by writing essays for school, for example, only get you so far in a novel. Knowing a bit about sentence structure, grammar, and theme will help, but you also need to know about character arc and project management and editing your own work and story structure, and so much more. 

A novel is not a short story but longer either. Novels are their own beast, and the best way to learn how to write them is to try. And that’s the main problem for perfectionists: we don’t like to do things that we don’t already know how to do. 

This belief that you should already know how to write a book (and conversely, if you don’t know how to do it, it’s proof that you’re not meant to write a book) is a prime example of a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset, according to Dr. Carol Dweck, is characterized by the belief that we have a limited set of natural talents. 

So a perfectionist might believe that they either have the talent and the ability to write a novel or they don’t. They don’t see this as a skill you cultivate; it’s a gift you were born with. 

And this might not be a conscious belief. If you’ve ever tried writing a novel and thought to yourself, “It shouldn’t be this hard,” or “Maybe I’m just not cut out for it,” that could be a sign that you harbor this subconscious fixed mindset. 

Fortunately, writing a novel is NOT an all-or-nothing proposition. It’s not a skill you either have or you don’t. And the key to overcoming a perfectionist mindset will also help you write a novel. 

How to overcome perfectionism 

You have to shift out of a fixed mindset and cultivate a growth mindset instead. 

Individuals with a growth mindset believe that they can develop the talents they need to accomplish their goals. They practice the skills they need, working especially hard on the areas for improvement. They are willing to get input from others to see where they need to continue to grow, and they don’t take criticism as a sign of failure. Most importantly, they prioritize the learning process and focus on development over outcomes. 

For example, a writer who’s still stuck in a fixed mindset might believe that if they just read enough craft books and do enough planning, they can write a perfect draft on the first try. But they will never feel “perfectly” prepared, so they might make excuses and continually avoid writing. They ultimately never attempt the work. 

On the other hand, if this same writer works on developing a growth mindset and believes that they don’t have to get their novel right on the first try—in fact, they see the writing process itself as a learning opportunity—they’ll do the planning they need and then get started. They’ll set up a writing habit that doesn’t rely on motivation so they’re consistently attempting the work. They view each session not as an opportunity to “get it right,” but a chance to learn something new. They’ll be able to complete a messy first draft, and then get excited by the prospect of learning more as they revise. 

This difference in mindset is easy enough to explain, but it takes much more work to cultivate a growth mindset. It’s a process that doesn’t happen immediately once you intellectually understand what you need to do. Just like writing a novel can take years and requires consistent effort, so does developing a growth mindset to get out of perfectionism. But working on this mindset while writing a novel allows you to practice and improve at both. 

Creating new strategies and getting outside input are two of the most effective ways to start this process. 

First and foremost, perfectionism is really just a series of habits you’ve implemented to avoid shame. These habits are all designed to keep you from attempting imperfect effort, taking risks, and facing failure. So you need to establish new strategies that help you practice doing all of these things. 

Fortunately, committing to your writing sessions and showing up for them despite your fears that you don’t know what to write or it won’t be good enough checks all the boxes. I schedule my writing sessions at the beginning of the week, and I do them no matter how unmotivated or avoidant I feel. Sometimes I frame them as practice sessions and force myself to write a scene a few different ways just to show my brain that I can’t do this perfectly. 

It’s not comfortable, but it’s helping me learn and develop a belief in myself. It also helps me actually get the writing done; otherwise, I’d be waiting forever to feel ready. 

Outside input is also especially helpful when you’re trying to cultivate a growth mindset. You will experience a lot of self-doubt and fear throughout the process. That’s the point. You’re finally facing these things you’ve been avoiding head-on. So getting a cheerleader—like a coach or a writing partner—is especially helpful. 

You want someone who understands the challenges you’re facing and will hold you accountable, but in a way that is supportive, not demoralizing. You also need someone who can help you see where you have room to improve; but again, it’s important that this person is invested in your growth. 

Coaching is a great way to get direction on changing your mindset and developing your story. I guide you through exercises to release your perfectionism while you also plan and draft your novel. I give you feedback on both aspects of the process so you can continue to improve. And I help you move past self-doubt or challenges when you feel stuck either with perfectionism or your novel. 

The writing process will never be easy, but it can be easier and more satisfying than your perfectionism wants you to believe. If you’re ready to get unstuck with your story and let go of your fixed mindset to finally complete your novel, let’s work together!